A What If
by spacemonkey26
Summary: This is a what if story about Mac and Claire. What if Claire didn’t die in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center? What if she lived not too far from New York City for 6 ½ years?
1. What If

What If…

This is a what if story about Mac and Claire. What if Claire didn't die in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center? What if she lived not too far from New York City for 6 ½ years?

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or any of its characters. I'll take credit for Janice since I pulled her story off the top of my head. Obviously who she really is belongs to CSI: NY and its creators. Please don't sue.

A/N: There are a lot of details that I left out of the story; this is mainly because I was writing it very late at night when I should have been sleeping. Any mistakes are mine as I don't have a beta. Feedback is appreciated.

A/N 2: My Mom inadvertently gave me the idea for this fic after the episode "Some Buried Bones"

Claire Taylor, known as Jane Doe #77 to the hospital, woke up not knowing where she was, who she was, or what had happened. The nurses, doctors and therapists told her what they knew about the terrorist attacks. They told her that she was a lucky one to make it out alive. Whenever she would ask about her life, if she had a family, they couldn't answer. She had been in a come for 3 months and no one had come looking for her. The hospital worked with her to get her an identity and a job.

Janice Dawson took her new life in stride. She was sure that she was missing someone she just didn't know who. Her new job was in a department store selling cosmetics. It wasn't something she loved, but she did enjoy it. She had weekly appointment with her therapist to try to work through the fog of her memory.

Every time Janice wanted to quit therapy they made some kind of headway. She could remember that she lived with someone, but couldn't remember who they were or where they lived or worked. She could remember that she had given up a child when she was young, but knew nothing else. These things gave her hope that her memory would return. After 5 years she had been able to remember that had been married to whomever she had lived with, but she still couldn't remember who that was. She was confused as to why they weren't looking for her, but her therapist offered that maybe he worked in the Towers as well but hadn't been as lucky as she. Janice accepted this but still had her doubts.

It was another year after Janice had remembered being married when she read an article about a New York City criminalist solving another big case. The detective was one Mac Taylor. She couldn't understand why this name was so familiar to her. There was also a picture of Mac in the article and she was sure that he looked familiar. She clipped his picture from the paper and kept it with her. At her next appointment Janice brought up the article and the picture. Her therapist recommended looking into it.

It took Janice 3 months to get up the courage to simply search Mac Taylor on the internet. When she did she discovered that he was a decorated Marine that had been honorably discharged many years ago. After his career as a Marine Mac Taylor had become a CSI. He was married until his wife was presumed dead on 9/11/2001. Suddenly she wanted to know about Mac's wife. So she searched more and was able to find a name, Claire Taylor, soon after she had been able to find a picture. She was shocked when she saw the picture. It was herself, six years younger.

Janice took another 2 ½ months to decide to go to Mac. She was worried that he would have moved on and forgotten all about her. She didn't want to intrude on his new life. Her therapist was cautiously optimistic about the outcome. So finally Janice decided to go.

Janice stood in front of a door that looked all too familiar. She was nervous and filled with doubt. Would Mac recognize her, had he moved on, does he still love her? Finally she knocked, as she was waiting for a response she thought about running but as she was about to turn and go the door opened…

Another A/N: I know Mac looked for Claire long and hard. But just assume that her picture didn't get to the right people in the hospital she was in. Also I never said what hospital or where Claire had lived for all those years… that's partially because I'm not really sure where she would have been… and I'm not that worried about it… everyone can just imagine wherever they want her to live.


	2. Meeting Mac

Meeting Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or any characters related to the show. Please don't sue.

A/N: In my story Peyton never existed. I don't like her anyway. I'm usually a huge fan for Mac and Stella but this one came to me and I just had to do it.

There was a knock on Mac's door. As he was walking to the door he was wondering who would be at his house. Anyone on his team would call him. He slowlt opened the door to see a woman turning to leave.

"May I help you miss?" Mac asked.

Janice froze in her tracks and slowly turned around. She said, "Hello…"

Mac just stared, he was sure he was seeing things. The woman standing in front of him looked a lot like Claire. Nut he knew Claire was dead, so who was this woman. He asked, "Who are you?"

Janice replied, "The name I was given at the hospital was Janice Dawson. I was rescued from The World Trade Center before they fell. I've forgotten most of my past but thanks to some wonderful therapy I've been remembering… I don't know how exactly to say this… but I think I'm your wife Claire."

Mac looking completely lost said, "Why don't you come in and we'll talk." He stepped aside as Janice slowly entered. Everything looked very familiar to her, she was sure if she was asked to find things she could. Mac lead her into the living room and said, "Make yourself comfortable, would you like anything to drink?"

Janice replied, "Water, thank you."

Mac went to the kitchen while Janice sat on the couch. Mac came back with two glasses of water and sat on a chair adjacent to the couch. He admitted to himself that the resemblance Janice had to Claire was uncanny. But he needed proof. He is a scientist after all.

Mac asked the question that was burning in his mind. "How could you be my wife? I searched every hospital for months, and I'd go back to the hospitals every couple of months after that, for three years. I would have found her had she been alive."

Janice was barely fazed by his comments; she had expected him to be hesitant. She replied, "I was in a coma for three months at Bellevue Hospital. When I woke the hospital staff told me what they knew; I started asking about family or friends. They said that no one had come looking for me. I can only assume that when you came with my picture it never made it to the doctors and nurses that treated me. They got me a new name, a job and even an apartment. They also set up appointments with a therapist mainly so I could just talk. The doctors were pretty sure that I'd start to remember some things eventually and they wanted me to have someone to talk to. They were right I did remember things. Having a baby as a teen, being married and other little things. I couldn't remember names or places. Many months ago I saw a picture of you in a newspaper. You looked familiar and the name was familiar. It took me awhile to do any kind of research about you but when I did, it talked about your wife and her death in the towers. I then started looking for a picture of her. I was thinking that maybe I knew you through your wife. When I found a picture it was like looking in a mirror that takes five years off your age. It took me even longer to get up the courage to come see you."

When Janice had finished Mac was struck with just how like Claire she was. Her voice, the way she talked, all a lot like Claire. But he didn't want to get his hopes up too high. Mac was starting to feel bad about what he was going to say next. "I mean no offense to you, but I need proof of who you are or could be…" Janice started to panic, he doesn't believe me, he's moved on, and he doesn't love his wife anymore.

Mac saw her panic and quickly said, "It's not that I think your lying. It's just that I want to be 100 sure you're Claire. I've tried moving on but I can't I miss her too much. You can ask my partner Stella."

Janice jumped at the mention of Stella's name, she recognized it.

Mac noticed her movement and asked, "What's wrong?"

Janice answered, "That name, Stella, its familiar. And I understand your wanting to be sure of who I might be. I have no desire to mislead you. I'll have whatever tests done that are needed."

Mac smiled, "Stella and Claire were pretty close. Stella's been a huge help these last many years. Constantly trying to get me to loosen up and move on, but never forget. I still have some of Claire's things that will have her DNA on it. I'll take a sample from one of those and a sample from you. We'll have the results in approximately two weeks. I'd like to get to know you more, and I'm sure you'd like to do the same. How about we meet for lunch tomorrow, if you want I can bring Stella too."

Janice replied, "Lunch would be great. But I'd prefer not to see Stella until we know for sure if I'm Claire or not."

"Yeah that would probably be a good idea. Stella can be a bit protective of me, and my emotions." Mac agreed.

Janice and Mac talked for a few hours before Janice left for the day. They agreed to meet at Southside Café for lunch at one in the afternoon the next day.

Janice was nervous about lunch with Mac. She didn't know what to wear. She had no idea what to talk about. She had about three hours before she had to be at the restaurant. She eventually settled on a modest pant suit, 'No need to look desperate' she thought.

Across town Mac wasn't really nervous, but he was curious who Janice really was. He'd sent the samples of DNA to have them compared. He wasn't sure if he wanted them to match or not. He'd spent almost seven years mourning Claire, now she could be back.

Lunch came and went too fast. Janice and Mac had enjoyed themselves so much that they'd wished it had lasted longer. They'd talked about themselves, their lives, their friends, and even joked around some. After lunch they hugged and went their separate ways. They made arrangements to meet a few more times that week.

A/N 2: I don't know too much about New York City as I've only been there once. But I did do research to find names of places. So I hope everything's ok. Review please…


	3. The Results

The Results

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or any characters.

A/N: I wrote most of the first two chapters in one sitting. I didn't post the first one until I was typing the second. I did this because I have a tendency not to finish stories. I'll be working on the fourth chapter pretty soon. I don't want this story to be too long but I want to get everything out. This chapter is shorter than earlier ones. But I did that on purpose. You'll see. Reviews please.

**TWO AND A HALF WEEKS LATER**

Mac sat in his office reading a DNA report. It was the report comparing Claire and Janice's DNA. Stella happened to be walking past Mac's office and looked in. She saw Mac's expression change from curiosity to shock to scared in a manner of seconds. This made her worry so she went and lightly knocked on his door, she didn't wait for him to respond before entering.

"Mac, what's wrong?" Stella asked cautiously.

Mac looked up startled by Stella's sudden appearance. He thought a moment and replied, "You know the woman I've been seeing the last few weeks?" Stella nodded. "Well how I met her is quite interesting… She came and knocked on my front door. She explained that she'd been in the towers on 9-11 and had been taken to Bellevue Hospital. She was in a coma for three months, she never had any visitors and when she woke she couldn't remember anything. The hospital tried to find out who she was but they had no luck. They eventually gave her a new name and everything. With her therapist she remembered small details but not much else, no names or places. Finally just a few months ago she saw a newspaper article on one of our cases. It happened to have a picture of me in it. She recognized my name and face. So she did some research on me and eventually Claire. She noticed a lot of similarities between her and Claire. So she came to me hoping to fill in more blanks. When I mentioned your name she recognized it too. So I took a sample of her DNA to compare with Claire's DNA and had them tested. These are the results." He finally stopped talking and handed the file to Stella he didn't think he could physically tell her what it said.

Stella, still in shock, took the report and read its contents. Surprised she said, "It's Claire… but how did you not find her when you were searching the area hospitals?"

Mac shrugged, at a loss for words.

Stella asked, "Are you going to be ok? Do you want me to be there when you tell her? Do you…"

Mac interrupted, "I'll be ok. No but I do know she'll want to see you eventually."

Stella nodded and suggested, "Why don't you take the rest of the day. Go home and collect your thoughts and figure out what you want to tell her."

Mac nodded and gathered his things. He stopped just before leaving and turned to Stella, "Thanks Stella, for everything." He hugged her and left.

Stella smiled a small smile thinking, 'Just about seven years ago he lost everything. Now he's getting it back, I hope he can handle it.'

Back at Mac's place, he's sitting on his couch thinking. He's happy Claire's not dead but he's been so long without her he's not sure what to do. He never stopped loving her but he'd accepted that Claire was lost. But now she's back. He'd been meeting her for the last 2 ½ weeks. He'd come to enjoy her company and liked her as a person. But could he handle her not having all of her memories, he wasn't sure. He was willing to give it a try. He needed to call her and either have her come over or meet him somewhere.

He'd called Janice, well now Claire; he'd decided to just have her come over. He left out that he'd gotten the DNA results. He didn't want her to worry too much one way or the other.

A/N: More to come… hopefully very soon.


	4. Telling Janice

Telling Janice

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or its characters.

Spoilers: Very slight spoilers for the Season 1 episode "Hush"

A/N: Sorry for the wait. I had to go back to school after a week off and now my wireless connection is being a pain. Plus that little thing people call working continues to get into the way of my writing and typing the chapters. I hope you enjoy this one. Please review, I love them.

Mac was pacing his living room. He still hadn't figured out how to tell Janice that she was in fact Claire. He also didn't know how she would react. Mac was trying to calm himself down before Janice arrived. It wasn't really working though. Then Mac heard the knock on the door. The knock that two and a half weeks ago was unfamiliar but now he recognized as if he'd heard it everyday of his life. He took a deep breath and walked to the door to answer.

He opened the door to a smiling Janice. He stepped back to allow her to enter. Janice stepped in and gave Mac a small hug. He hugged her back. They walked toward the living room and sat on the couch. Mac said, " I have some information for you."

Janice asked, "What?"

Mac replied, "I got the results of the DNA test today…" Mac trailed off.

Janice looked visibly worried, she started to open her mouth but Mac stopped her.

Mac said, "I'm nervous as it is, so I need to keep talking before I lose my train of thought and will to speak, please let me just talk." Janice nodded. "The DNA results were very conclusive… you in fact… are… Claire… I want to remind you of what I said when we first met. I do still love my wife… you. But I've spent the last six and a half years believing you were dead. It's going to be hard for me to accept that you're not dead. But I'm willing to work on it as long as you are."

Janice was near tears as she replied, "I'm… Claire… For course I understand that you'll need time. It'll take me some time to adjust to being married and my husband is still alive. But hopefully now that I have that huge part of my life back I can start remembering my life again."

She and Mac hugged again. Mac said, "Stella also knows the results. She saw me reading the file when I first received it. I told her that you'll eventually want to see her."

Janice smiled, "I figured that Stella would know, or would find out right after you told me. I'd really like to see Stella soon. I want to thank her."

"Thank her for what?" Mac asked.

"Easy." Janice replied. "For keeping you in one piece."

Mac had to laugh, which got a questioning look from Claire. Mac said, "That's quite literal. She's saved my life a lot, including keeping me from being sandwiched between two shipping containers."

Claire smiled, "I guess I really need to thank her then."

Mac and Claire talked for many hours before Claire noticed the time. She said, "I need to get going. I have to work in the morning. When can we get together with Stella?"

Mac replied, "I'll talk to her at work tomorrow and give you a call. Do you want to meet for dinner tomorrow?"

Claire replied, "That sounds great, I'll pick the restaurant this time. I'll tell you tomorrow when you call."

Mac walked Claire to the door. They had a slight awkward moment as Mac debated whether or not to kiss Claire goodnight. Then he decided, this was his wife, he had the proof. So he kissed her. It was short, but it held that spark they both recognized. This was definitely right.

A/N2: Sorry it's kinda short. I end them where it makes the most sense to me. So I won't promise the next one will be longer. I just promise that there's still more to come. How much more… I don't know. **Review Please…**


	5. Getting to Know You Again

Getting to Know You… Again

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or its characters.

A/N: Sorry for another long wait. I had a few things come up with school. But the semester is almost over. My muse has also decided to take a vacation without telling me. So this chapter may seem a little off. I'm sorry, comments or suggestions are always welcome. This chapter does skip about some. So here's the last chapter.

Mac and Claire had met for dinner at a small restaurant. Dinner had, as usual, gone wonderfully. Mac told Claire about some of the things they had done together. Claire told him more about what she did in her spare time. They talked and laughed all through dinner and desert. After their meal they decided to take a walk in Central Park since it was still early and the weather was warm.

As they walked they would stop and Mac would tell her about something they had done their, like a picnic or another walk. He would also stop and tell her about the places where Stella would find him after 9-11.

When it started to get late they left the park. Mac walked Claire to her car where the shared another kiss. This one held a little more passion, but it was still short. They agreed to meet in a few days time, a Saturday. They were going to wander Times Square like tourists just because they could.

It had now been 10 days since Mac had received the DNA test results. Tonight he, Claire, and Stella were getting together for dinner. It was going to be the first time Stella and Claire saw each other in years. Mac was nervous… He wasn't sure why… But he was.

Just down the hall from Mac, Stella was nervous about meeting Claire. Stella still held a flame for Mac. She'd hoped that Mac would move on with her. But now she knew that would never happen. She saw how he'd changed in the last 10 days. He was as close to his old self as she'd ever seen him. So she was happy about that. But she couldn't help being worried that she may display some hostility toward Claire. She and Claire had been friends hopefully they could go back to that with ease.

The end of the workday came so quickly that both Mac and Stella were caught off guard. They packed up what they had been working on and went their separate ways. They were all going to be meeting at 7PM at another small restaurant that they'd loved to go to years ago.

Seven o'clock came and they'd all arrived at the restaurant at the same time. This caused them all to laugh a little. Mac introduced Stella and Claire, "Claire, this is my partner and best friend, Stella. Stella… Claire.

Stella turned pink when Mac called her his best friend. Stella reached over to shake Claire's and but Claire decided to pull Stella into a hug instead.

Claire said, "Thank you for watching out for Mac all these years. I can see why he calls you his best friend."

Stella replied, "It's not a problem. He's my partner and best friend as well. He'd do, and has done, the same for me."

Mac said, "Why don't we go inside and get our table before they give it to another group.

So with that they made their way inside. They spent two hours in the restaurant eating talking and catching up. Claire was also starting to be able to remember more things about her past. This made both Mac and Stella smile. After dinner they decided that they didn't want to part for the night yet, so they headed to Mac's since it was the closest to the restaurant.

At Mac's they opened a bottle of wine and made themselves comfortable in the living room. They decided to all sit on the couch, Mac and Stella on either side of Claire. Mac went over to a bookshelf and pulled out a photo album. It was filled with pictures of one or two of the NYPD's summer picnics. Stella and Mac told Claire the stories behind all the pictures. They were having so much fun that no one noticed the time slipping away. Before they knew it, it was 2AM.

Stella said, "Oh my… Look at the time we've been talking and drinking since 9:30PM. Wow… The time has just flown by.

Claire said, "I agree. This has been an amazing five hours. But I don't think either one of us would be safe to drive home Stella."

Stella agreed, "Yeah, we haven't had that much alcohol and it has been spread out but being a cop / CSI I know better than to push my luck."

Mac chimed in with, "Why don't you two stay here? We'll all camp out here in the living room. I've got enough blankets and pillows. We can pretend we're kids again and have a sleepover."

Claire and Stella smiled. Stella said, "Claire you've brought back the fun loving Mac in only 10 days. I've been trying for six years now. Thank you!"

Claire smiled, "No problem… Now let's have a sleepover!"

Mac got Claire and Stella things to sleep in out of what he'd kept of Claire's. They took turns changing and setting up the living room floor. As they wee getting ready to lay down Stella grabbed a pillow and started a pillow fight. Twenty minutes later they were in a heap on the floor laughing.

Stella said, "Now it's officially a sleepover. You can't have a sleepover without a pillow fight."

Claire and Mac laughed but agreed. Then, as they were all exhausted, they finally laid down to sleep. This time Mac was surrounded by the two women he loved the most. When this crossed his mind he questioned himself but agreed. He loved Stella as well as Claire. But he loved Stella as a friend and Claire as his wife. Although, as he thought, there were times when he loved Stella as more than a friend. But now that Claire was back he knew who he wanted.

Claire and Stella were both asleep already so Mac put his arm around Stella, kissed her hair, and whispered, "I love you Stel, but now that Claire's back, I love her more. I'll always love you though." With that he gave Stella a small squeeze. Then he turned to Claire and wrapped himself around her. 'Yes' He thought. 'This is right.' He fell asleep quickly after that.

When Mac woke up he had the strangest sensation. He was holding someone to his chest, but someone else was curled up against his back. He opened one eye and saw he was holding Claire and he remembered that Stella was also there. Instantly telling him who was attached to his back. He smiled and closed his eyes again.

The next time Mac awoke it was to Stella apologizing to Claire about curling up on the other side of Mac. Claire was trying to reassure Stella that she took no offense by it, but it wasn't working. Mac decided it was time for him to let them know he was awake.

Mac cleared his throat. This effectively got both Claire and Stella's attention. They looked over at him both looking guilty. He said, "I'd like to add my two cents." They nodded.

"Last night before I fell asleep, but after you two had, I had an interesting revelation. I realized that I was a damn lucky man because I got to sleep between the two women I love the most. But I also realized that only one of them would work out properly. That was the one I started with Claire all those years ago now. Stella, don't get me wrong, I love you the same amount I love Claire, but you're my friend and confidant. It'd be weird if anything happened between us. Though another sleepover on the floor where I wake up sandwiched between the two women I love would not be out of the question as long as neither one of you mind."

Claire and Stella looked confused. They looked at each other. Both understanding that this was the most forthcoming Mac had almost ever been with his feelings. Claire and Stella had a quick chat in hushed tones and when they stopped they both nodded. Claire spoke, "I would not mind sharing you with Stella as often as you want."

Stella spoke next, "I agree with Claire and with you Mac. If anything beyond sleeping next to you were to happen it would be awkward. I don't want to lose our friendship. So as we made it through last night with no issues this morning I don't see why we couldn't do the same thing once a month or so."

Mac smiled, "I knew there was a reason I loved you both. You're both very sensible people. Claire for realizing that I enjoyed waking up with her in my arms as well as being in Stella's arms. Stella for knowing that things wouldn't work out if things progressed further. But I think I should inform both of you… I was thinking about doing these sleepovers every week.

Claire and Stella looked at each other and just shook their heads in disbelief.

Mac added, "Claire I was also wondering if you wouldn't mind if every other sleepover I switched between being with you and being with Stella?"

Claire smiled, "Of course not. It'll give me the chance to curl up against your back."

Mac said, "I have one more question. Claire, would you re-marry me?"

A tear slipped down Claire's cheek, "Of course Mac, you didn't have to ask."

Stella watched and smiled as husband and wife were reunited. She'd gotten more out of this than she ever thought she'd get. She got two best friends and once a week she got to sleep with Mac… and Claire.

The all got ready to leave an hour later. They'd all had breakfast, coffee, and a shower. Now Claire and Stella were headed for their apartments to change and head to work.

The following weekend Danny, Lindsay, Hawkes, Flack, Mac, Stella, and Claire all worked to move Claire's things into Mac's. Mac, Claire and Stella had another sleepover the night they finished moving everything. This time Mac was wrapped around Stella and Claire was wrapped around him. Yeah Mac definitely had to admit, he was the luckiest man alive.

After a month, Mac and Claire were re-married; they'd filed all the paperwork showing that Claire had in fact not died in the attacks on September 11. And they still had weekly sleepovers with Stella, which always included at least one pillow fight.


End file.
